You're Gone, I'm Here
by Honey B
Summary: *COMPLETE* Squall feels pressurised by his relationship with Rinoa, and so breaks up with her. She leaves, but how long can they hold out without each other? Sqinoa. R&R plz. 1st fic :)
1. Moving On

Title: You're gone, I'm here.  
  
Author: Honey B  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters.  
  
A/N: Hi, this is my first ever fic and i'm wondering ... really badly ... how well i'll do. I have only just completed Final Fantasy 8 so i'm on a high. Please review, constructive critism is fine, so are ... flames (i think thats what they are called. I'm new to this too!) This is about my two favourite characters Squall and Rinoa. It is in Rinoa's P.O.V.  
  
***********  
  
I stare out of my window, watching the rain pour down. How fitting. My tears had just dried up, the silver streaks are still there as i stare at my reflection. Squall, the man that i had fallen, if you could call the two feet relationship this, in love with. He was just so mysterious. That's what i liked in men. Seifer was just that. He was loud but at the same time head-spinningly suspicious, you couldn't work out what he was thinking or going to do next. I bet as you read this you're wondering why i was crying. I was crying because Squall had just told me that he didn't know how to act around me and therefore thought it was best, rather than to in his words, learn hate each other, stay away from each other. Basically he didn't want me to suddenly hold his hand and his pride to be shot down. He liked his stupid, man-ego personality and didn't like my outgoing one. It's ridiculous, he loved me. I was so sure of it. What was space and Adel then? I felt so confused at the time. This is what happened.  
  
~*~*~*~*FlashBack~*~*~*~*  
  
Squall entered my room in his cat-like tread but the chink of his boots sounded clearly across the room. I flew towards him, and gave him a hug. I buried my head in his chest, inhaling his man like smell. It was so him. He seemed, however, unable to respond. His hands moved up to my shoulder blades, stroking my back softly. But it didn't seem as though he was putting his all into it. Pulling away in confusion i looked at his face, mainly his eyes. You could always tell what he was thinking through his eyes, his emotions anyway. He didn't, however, let me make eye contact. Sighing softly he pulled away and walked to the window. Turning around, following his movements, i noticed the drag in his feet and the slump in his shoulders. What was he doing? Even when he got down at work he was always happy around me. It must be serious. Finally he turned around, and ran a hand through his hair in a tired fashion, he spoke in his low voice that always made me swoon, but today, it didn't,  
  
"Rinoa ... Rin ... you ... we ..." He broke off to try and get his thoughts back together, "...you and i. We seem to be ... a, er, couple to all of the others ... but i .. i don't want ... that -"  
  
"So? We can't stop being in love for them."  
  
"..Rin .. oa ... please. I'm trying to say that ... i don't want to be with you anymore, not like lovers anyway. I'm so sorry."  
  
A hand flew to my mouth, and i felt unshed tears prick at my eyes. I blinked them back angrily.  
  
"Why? Why now??"  
  
"Rin -"  
  
"NO! Don't call me that!"  
  
"..oa. What i'm trying to say ... very badly ... is that you are so much more outgoing than me, and when you decide to be affectionate, i can't do anything back without ... not acting like me ... without hurting you. So, i feel that ... it would be better to split now instead of when you hate me, and i hate you." He came over to try and console me, but I pulled away angrily. I narrowed my eyes at him. Pursing my lips I pushed passed him and grabbed a few things: hairbrush, money and my passport. He eyed my cautiously. I stalked up to him, then I slapped him. It was satisfying to see a red mark showing. I smirked then pulled away. I then spoke in a low voice,  
  
"Fine, Squall. Here is your freedom! I hope you're happy now."  
  
I walked out of the room, then ran down the hall, and out of Garden. I ran all the way to Balamb. As you can tell, we had re-arranged to stay at Balamb more so that pupils could comute. Then I managed to catch a train, but it wasn't too long after that when I felt that I needed to cry. And I did just that. Cry. It wasn't a satisfying feeling.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
The one man I had loved, so much that it hurt, had betrayed me. Not physically, nor with infidelity, but with pride. I never thought he had that, the way he stayed back. I always thought that with pride came ego, but I never thought Squall had that. He was so reserved. But hell, it was his pride that ruined us. I smiled spitefully. Well, Quistis, he's all yours. He's just like you. Boring, 2-D, antagonistic. Swallowing painfully I looked out of Dollet's Hotel. I sighed, me the general's daughter, forced to hide and feel self-pity because of a man. I had chatted to an old friend, and she had said maybe I should turn lesbian, like her. I laughed so hard at that. Then cried. Then ran here. You see, I couldn't. Squall was the only I could be with, even if he was only with me, in memory. I sighed. It had been two weeks since I had ran, phf, left Squall and every night I had felt his presence, his arms around me in my dreams, but always woke up, cold, empty, unfufilled. I had got a job. A store-clerk. How the mighty have fallen. I considered going to my father, but realised that was where Squall would look. Ha! Who am I kidding? He'll come looking? Sure. In my dreams. If only I could get over him. If only he wasn't so afraid. If only. Putting my hands on my elbows I stared off into the distance, smiling sadly. I WILL get over him.  
  
**  
  
I wanna apologise for the strangness of the writing, if you can see. My computer often does this. Its really weird. Its starts off fine, then always leaves a gap of a line. It seriously annoying! Well, this is the first chapter. The next one will be Squall. Tell me if its okay! Thanks  
  
^_^ Honey B. ~()~ (that's my BEE! Gettit??) 


	2. Coming Back

1 Title: You're Gone, I'm Here  
  
Authoress: Honey B  
  
Warnings: None.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy.  
  
Author Notes: This is now from Squall's P.O.V. I want to thank every1 for their reveiws! And I'm sorry for being away for like a month but there is life away from the pc!  
  
***  
  
*Last Time on You're Gone, I'm Here*  
  
Squall was the only I could be with, even if he was only with me, in memory. I sighed. It had been two weeks since I had ran, phf, left Squall and every night I had felt his presence, his arms around me in my dreams, but always woke up, cold, empty, unfufilled. I had got a job. A store- clerk. How the mighty have fallen. I considered going to my father, but realised that was where Squall would look. Ha! Who am I kidding? He'll come looking? Sure. In my dreams. If only I could get over him. If only he wasn't so afraid. If only. Putting my hands on my elbows I stared off into the distance, smiling sadly. I WILL get over him.  
  
**********  
  
I walked gracefully, quietly down the hall. Usually, Rinoa would be keeping step behind me gossiping about the things that went on during the day with our gang. She regularily went out with Selphie and Quistis or sat with Zell and Irvine. It was life. But as I walked through the empty halls, I realised what an idiot I had been. I had been scared. Scared of what would happen, if she would leave me. I am a man, and with that came my pride. I am strong and don't want to spout out my fear that is held in my heart. The fear of loosing someone like Ellone again. But this time, I threw away my love, went into my heart, locked the door and threw away the key. I knew I loved her, I just couldn't face it. That night that I threw her out was the day that I damned myself to hell. She'll hate me forever. The look of tears on her face, and then the smug look as she slapped me, walking out of the room with her head held high, like a princess. She is one though. Not spoiled really. She had been through enough in her life, not as much as me, granted, but enough to make a small child cringe in fear.  
  
I must admit that I sometimes wonder about life with her now. It seems like she is dead. She may as well be. I suffer night and day, yearning for her to be with me, hugging, kissing, caressing, but because of my foolishness she has probably found another. I never expected my life to turn out like this. I always felt I would be alone, alone in a large crowd of people that wanted to help but I wouldn't let them. Quistis was really helping me out, she had once spoken to me about the small joy she felt that Rinoa left, but then she explained that she had always thought that she would be the one to help him, but after watching me with her, she understood it was meant to be. I was grateful for her honesty, I was terrified of what people might say to me and then say to their friends behind my back. It's strange how Rinoa had made me into someone who cared about street-cred .. before she came along I wouldn't have cared if Seifer told everyone I was gay, which I wasn't because I loved Rinoa. Which reminded me, he knew, but wouldn't say anything. It was unnerving. He had changed but wouldn't speak a word to me … it was obvious in his eyes the burning jealousy he held for me, but he wouldn't gloat. I accepted that fact and moved on. Work was boring, life was boring and I spent hours thinking about what she was doing.  
  
And that's when it happened. I refused my love for her for too long, and I now had found a hair pin to lock the key to my heart open with. I would find Rinoa, I would bring her home and make her mine in every sense. She *would* be mine. Rushing out of my dorm. I ran to Balamb. I had no idea where she would have gone, but for a start I would try Timber, then Dollet. No, not Timber, that would be too obvious for someone just disappearing. Not her father's either. She hates him and that would seem obvious too. I racked my brain thinking of anywhere. I knew she would head to Galbadia, that's the only place that would call to her without me beside her. Deling City, D-District Prison, Missile Base the places in Galbadia ran through my mind, mixing up in the heat of my dispair. I finally arrived at Balamb.  
  
Walking through the town I recognised a few people. Ma Dincht waved to me, I smiled back. Always hospitible she was. Never without a smile. Like Rinoa. I smiled wistfully. Soon, very soon. No trains were departing to Timber. This sucked. Heading to the docks I was surprised to see a ship ready to leave. I went up to someone inside, and out popped none other than Seifer Almasy.  
  
"Nice too see you, Seifer. Mind if I come along?"  
  
I must have said something bad because he went a very deep crimson. I smirked, strode past him and sat down. He came in with the pilot. I coughed and spoke up,  
  
"Dollet, post-haste. Do *not* disobey your commander, okay? Good."  
  
Probably the best thing about being commander. The power that comes with it. The engines started up. I would never get over Rinoa and I was close to claiming her all for myself!  
  
*********  
  
Stepping off of the ship I turned around. Raising an eyebrow I addressed Seifer.  
  
"And where are you off too?"  
  
He replied rather harshly, "Nowhere."  
  
"Well then, go back to Garden. Goodbye!"  
  
I pushed him in and slammed the door shut. I wasn't going to let him get to Rinoa. I could tell he was. He kept stealing glances at me and seemed to have a dazed look in his eyes. Or he could be going bad. Or I'm going mad. Mad from not being with Rinoa, I had to get to her before loosing my mind. Where to look first. Hmmm, I checked around and saw I only had a few hi- potions and no pheonix-downs. Not good. Items were always good and so I headed to a store.  
  
Walking in the door made a ching. Heading to the counter, the person was not there, so I rang the bell. He or she was underneath stacking things. As *it* came up she began to say,  
  
"Hello, how may I ---"  
  
"RINOA?????"  
  
***********  
  
Now is that a cliffy or wot? Thx soo much for the reveiws .. be nice and review again. The next bit will be out soon :) Buh-bye.  
  
Honey B ~()~ 


	3. Together Again

Title: You're Gone, I'm Here  
  
Authoress: Honey B  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own FF8 … although I want Zell  
  
Notes: Thx for the reveiws and a big kiss to Vick330 who told me about the gay bit in chapter 2. I've redone that so it makes sense now. He's not gay! This is in Squall AND Rinoa's point of view. To make it easy for you, I will mark who is thinking with either a Squall or a *dun dun dun* Rinoa! :)  
  
****  
  
Where to look first. Hmmm, I checked around and saw I only had a few hi- potions and no pheonix-downs. Not good. Items were always good and so I headed to a store.  
  
Walking in the door made a ching. Heading to the counter, the person was not there, so I rang the bell. He or she was underneath stacking things. As *it* came up she began to say,  
  
"Hello, how may I ---"  
  
"RINOA?????"  
  
****************  
  
RINOA  
  
I stared at the man that I hadn't seen in, what two days, but my heart hadn't seen in centuries. My breathing quickened. What to do, what to say? It seemed an eternity had passed as he stood staring at me with his smouldering blue eyes. Such a deep blue. And his skin, so soft. Would he mind if I touched it? Of course he would. He practically declared his hate and frozen-ness when he broke up with me. I mean, for crying out loud, he's supposed to be my knight. The one who protects me from evil. How can he do that when he's 500miles away?  
  
I remembered I was working, and to pay the rents and buy food that would mean I needed money, therefore a salary and therefore not to get fired because I didn't help my customers.  
  
"Hello." Big fake smile, "How may I help you?"  
  
He glared at me. Then he looked around quickly. He yanked me down.  
  
"Stop being difficult, Rinoa, I came here to talk to you." Then he smirked. And I would have given my life to know what he just thought. But, I guessed it was something gross, or perverted. Hentai!  
  
"I'm not being difficult, *sir*,"I put emphasis on that word, the word implied stranger, and that is what I felt, "I'm just doing my job."  
  
"No! You're being annoying!"  
  
I gasped in outrage, "I'M the one being annoying? Well, so-rry! I just don't like the thought of seeing my EX walk through the door as though nothing had happened. I'm sorry Squall, but I thought we had something special."  
  
And with that I fled from the room, and told my boss I was taking an early lunch break. I don't think he minded from the position he was in with that blonde. I shuddered. Grabbed my coat, walked out of the back door, slamming it behind me.  
  
***  
  
SQUALL  
  
I heard Rinoa slam the door. I growled. My possesive manner of being a knight was being to get to me. Sighing I stalked out of the shop. A flash of brown hair and a yell of 'fira' directed me to a small park. It was quite pretty if you excluded the flash fried tree. I coughed. She turned around. Glared and walked away. I didn't how I was going to do this. So instead I turned around and walked the other way, saying rather quietly but still loud enough to be heard,  
  
"Fine. If you don't want to talk. I'll just go."  
  
I heard her stop, but I kept on going. A quick glance out of the corner of my eye gave the the small droop of her shoulders. She turned around and yelled,  
  
"Squall! Fine! I'll talk with you .. okay? You have an hour with me before I have to go back to work. Is that understood?"  
  
I nodded, looking disinterested. But inside my heart leapt with joy, relief and hope. An hour. That would be all I needed.  
  
********  
  
I couldn't believe that she was taking me to one of the most expensive resturants in Dollet, but the smug look about her completely threw me off track. She leaned over on the bus.  
  
"Remember … the guys ALWAYS pay .. unless they can't. Can you?"  
  
I smirked and pulled out a wad of gil, "That's what being a Commander is all about!"  
  
She smiled, and leaned back in her seat. She looked about and stopped the bus. We got off. The cold air pinched at her face, leaving her with rosy cheeks. I groaned silently. I wanted to touch her. But I didn't know if she would let me. We walked into the resturant. The waiter lead us to some seats and gave us our menus.  
  
She looked at me, "You wanted to talk … so talk!"  
  
"Okay, Rinoa … I've been thinking and I know how I feel now. You know the saying 'You don't know how good you have something until it's gone'?" She nodded, "Well, that's what I feel about you. I thought that without you I - we could get on with our lives without the pressure of being affectionate and all that."  
  
"So, you're telling me that basically you love me but can't show it? Come on, that's ridiculous! I mean, how can you love then?"  
  
"NO! That's not what I'm saying. You remember Ellone?"  
  
At her nod I took a deep breath,  
  
"Well, Ellone was practically my sister but then one day she left, and never came back. I used to wait … outside, in any weather for her, but she never came back. And ever since then I've been afraid of people leaving me once they have gotten into my life. I only just survived Ellone, and when I removed you from my li –"  
  
"Hang on Squall … you kicked me out because you thought I would leave anyway? That's just … idiotic. Hmm." She paused to look at her watch. 45 minutes left. She decided that she wanted to leave. She motioned towards me to move. So I did. We walked out and sat down on a bench.  
  
"Rinoa, when you left, you took my soul. I can't live without you … but before I do anything going close to where that will lead to … I want to know … how do you feel about me?"  
  
****  
  
RINOA  
  
'How do I feel about you? .. hmm, well, what to say. Um, I felt like you were a *%(&@ when I left and think that I want to rip off your clothes and do naughty things with you … somehow that doesn't seem right. GOD DAMNIT! I just can't get away from him … I just love him .. a little too much.'  
  
"Squall …" She paused, unsure of what to say, he had just given her his heart, and she stomp on it, give it back or take it, and give him her own. She opted for the last option. "GOD DAMNIT! I love you Squall!"  
  
Squall's eyes flew open in surprise. "You're not kidding?"  
  
I smiled, "I swear on my heart."  
  
He jumped to his feet, pulled me up, and pressed his lips to mine with a passion that I've only seen once, after the defeat of Ultimecia. His arms closed around me, pulling me close, it was like he never wanted me to leave. I smiled against his lips, and brought my arms up to his neck. We broke away after a while, and saw we had an audience,  
  
"Whoo! Get in there lad!" Cheers and a few wolf whistles. Squall looked strangely detatched but I knew I was beet red. I turned to Squall,  
  
"Think we can go else where?"  
  
He turned and said soflty, "Yes, I think that's best."  
  
As we turned and walked away from the crowd, Squall grasped my hand in his. I leaned my head on his shoulder.  
  
We knew we'd be together,  
  
A sorceress and her knight, bound together,  
  
Always.  
  
*****  
  
There we go! I've finished it! All three chapters! I'm so pleased! I hope you liked my first fic. I have some ideas for a new fic. Email me if u want (hint hint) Honey_B80@yahoo.co.uk  
  
That's all for now …. Honey B ~()~ 


End file.
